[Ana looks apologetic, trying to hide it by buying herself with making the tea, but she’s never been as stone-faced as Jack. It doesn’t work, and her remorse is evident. There's no good way to begin the story, and explaining how she felt in the aftermath of that failed mission doesn't come easily, for a variety of reasons.]

I lived, obviously.

[She’s never been as good at the dry tone of voice as Jack either.]

I could not face the rest of you after I failed so thoroughly. It seemed better to disappear.

[Jack won't look at this conversation in a way that indicates he's been over this before, and lines of tension run down his arms as he pretends to busy himself with their inventory. Ana offers him a glance that more or less says it all--it seems the two of them haven't quite sorted through this issue. She tries to keep all her attention on Winston, instead.]

I know it was foolish. It's difficult to explain.