aperture_high | LET'S HIT THE ROAD I WAS SO CLOSE TO PERSONAL GROWTH

LET'S HIT THE ROAD I WAS SO CLOSE TO PERSONAL GROWTH

[ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO...

Are you caught up? Good. We find our heroes having recently embarked upon a two thousand-mile road trip to San Diego (a real place) from Dorado (not really a real place), in search of experimental government technology. The plan is simple--horseback to the nearest hypertrain station. Sneak across the border, then commandeer a vehicle or perhaps another horse to complete the rest of the journey. Bust into an old Overwatch outpost, steal all of their shit, acquire a new tactical visor or something similar, and then part ways and he can go back to vengeance or whatever it is he's doing.

There is, unfortunately, only one horse, and Jesse McCree and his vaguely unhinged ex-commander are not exactly light or small (they are both tall and also kind of heavy). 76 is also more uncomfortable with the animal than he lets on, but that might just be because he's riding shotgun. Is that what you call it when you're not actually driving the horse, but are sort of behind the person driving the horse, in constant danger of slipping off the horse unless you hold onto the person driving the horse (which is unpleasant because 76 doesn't like sharing personal space and McCree is an unwashed hobo who still thinks cowboys are relevant)? Do you call it driving the horse?

Either way, this is uncomfortable--but not so uncomfortable that 76 doesn't eventually succumb to the fact that he stayed up the whole night before just in case McCree decided to bail on this operation. He nods off upright for a little, jarred awake every time they hit some kind of bump (which is often). Eventually, he slumps forward, conking out right against McCree. Probably the only reason he's not drooling on McCree is because he's put the face mask back on. The visor, however, is still totally busted.

Let dad rest.]

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[Too late that. He can't take back what he's become and despite McCree's disappointment he's not going to set out to try and change 76. He's made his choices, and none of which are any of McCree's business, especially not now. He doesn't have to agree with what he's doing with his life or how he's doing it. He doesn't have to work along side him, though he chooses to for now to absolve himself. Dimly, McCree wishes there could be something better for 76 than a life like this--he knows it's hard way of living and often lonely--but nothing he can do other than keep moving forward. No stopping a train.

McCree doesn't confirm or deny if he's going to continue the journey after they make it to the hypertrain. Instead he barks a loud 'HYAA!' and slaps the reigns. Betty Sue sprints off, kicking up dusty sand in her wake. They ride hard and long, take a break as needed, and make good distance.

They're able to see the hypertrain in the distance as the sun starts to set low, casting an orange gleam across the expanse of chrome and steel.]

[76 doesn't really know how to take McCree's silence except with more of his own. The rest of the trip to the hypertrain station proceeds much the same, with the two of them only exchanging words when necessary. He supposes the good news is that they aren't accosted any further.

They arrive right on time, too, finally coming upon the station as the sun begins to set, allowing them to approach it undetected in the dark. All the better for stowing away.

There's still some time before the train is set to depart, and 76 decides that he's going to broach the subject for real as they start to unload.

Or, you know, maybe he doesn't say anything for a long moment. Maybe he pets the horse.]

[They have time which is good. McCree explains it's easiest to sneak on right after they close the doors and prepare to disembark. Small window, small security. He has confidence they can do it without complication.

Until then, there's silence between them and slowly it grows more awkward and noticeable. McCree convinced himself he shouldn't ask. Normally he'd try to be respectful and not pry. It's history left in ruins. It's old news. It's dead and buried. Well... maybe not that last part.

But 76 has been a royal pain in his ass this trip, enough that the silence and McCree's curiosity wins out.]

What happened that day...?

[Even though he does bring himself to ask, it's still with an air of respect. It was just a kinder way of phrasing What happened to you?]

[76 has expected this eventually. It seems fitting that McCree would ask right before they're presumably about to part ways. Loath as he is to talk about Switzerland, he thinks maybe he owes McCree that much. The two of them have unfinished business in that department, anyway.]

Don't remember much.

[Not of the actual fight and resulting carnage. He attributes that to trauma. Most of the aftermath is intact, however--pulling himself out of the wreckage and feeling more like a wounded animal than a person. Feeling that the only thing he could do is get out and get away, try to process just how things managed to get to this point.

And then, when the dust cleared, he realized that maybe the world didn't need him after all. That it was much better to stay dead, even as the UN dismantled what was left of Overwatch. He remembers watching his memorial service on television.]

When you disappeared, I knew something was wrong. I didn't think it'd be...that.

[Didn't think Gabriel would go that far.]

[McCree frowns. "Don't remember" seems like such a cop out of an answer but he's not going to question if that's how 76 cope with such a traumatic experience, consciously or not. He's not really sure what kind of answer he expected, if any at all.

Didn't exactly expect the conversation to turn in this direction and the cowboy tugs his hat over his eyes.]

...

[He thinks about his words carefully, lest 76 think he was privy to more than he actually was. The cynical part of McCree--the part that drove him to do something so desperate as basically defect--of course did think it would end in some kind of disaster but he didn't think it'd be... that.]

I had to get out.

[No real way to not look guilty. No real way for McCree to not feel guilty even if he didn't have a damn thing to do with it.]

The whole thing stank.

Well, you were right.

[But there's still a part of him that thinks what Jesse did was cowardly. Jack, increasingly aware of how wrong everything was becoming was more than ready to take the fall to save everyone else the grief. When Gabriel did what he did, however, it all became moot, and every single one of them suffered anyway. Ana presumably KIA. Reinhardt forcibly retired. Angela, interrogated by the UN. All the things he'd tried so desperately to prevent.

It's possible that 76 still doesn't know the extent of what Blackwatch was up to, and that maybe McCree has a different perspective that made fleeing the only option.]

How much did you know about what he was planning?

[Of course he asks. McCree relents with honesty, unfortunate as it is.]

I knew there were years worth of resentment behind what he did, that much was for certain.

[It wasn't just the obvious arguments and petty fights that was the damning part; it was how it influenced Gabe's decisions, how he started managing Blackwatch, and how he slowly became consumed by it. Jack didn't see any of that until it was far too late, and plenty went left unseen to his dissatisfaction if his current hell-bound state was any indication.]

There was... talk about settling it. Coup kinds of talk. I didn't want any part of it.

[He's silent for a long moment, only grunting in acknowledgement of what McCree is telling him. 76 knows he's always been a good kid--that despite his past, it had never felt right to put him into Blackwatch, and he supposes that McCree running when things got too morally questionable only makes sense.

But there is one thing that gets him.]

And you didn't think to say anything to me before you left.

[Had 76 verbalized that, McCree might disagree about being put in Overwatch. He was suited to Blackwatch's style and his history with Deadlock proved he was more than capable of doing the dirty work that would sully Overwatch's hands. It was only through time, and ironically being in a structured group like Blackwatch that made him realize he could do right by his morals. ...Until Blackwatch started to forget their own morals, anyway.]

... [His face tightens and the barest of growls escapes the back of his throat. He goes back to avoiding 76's gaze.] What'd you expect me to say?

[McCree was smart enough to be able to take a step back and keep his sense of perspective about the whole issue to see the conflict between Overwatch and Blackwatch was a one way street to a dead end. Which meant he also saw the ugly sides of both.]

Can't stop a ship full of holes from sinking.

[His reasons for not bringing it to anyone's attention were varied and a lot of it boiled down to thinking no amount of words would stop it from happening. Some twisted (angry and disappointed and frustrated) part of McCree thought it was for the best with how the UN and media was looming over them like vultures waiting for a carcass to drop. Nothing about it was right.]

If it wasn't coming from Blackwatch it would from something else.

I would've got you out of there. Put you under witness protection.

[Not that he thinks McCree would ever want to be under witness protection, but 76 imagines that Jack wouldn't have been angry if the situation was explained to him. Could have anticipated the mutiny a little better if someone on the inside had alerted him to how wrong things really were.

It's all easier to say in hindsight, however, as loath as he is to admit it. 76 still thinks that he could have prevented the disaster that Overwatch became, even if that meant taking the fall to save others the grief. He knows now that it wasn't just Blackwatch--it was Talon, too, and maybe even the UN, so McCree is right. Admitting that is hard.]

Maybe it wouldn't have been as bad as it got.

[If they'd been able to cut something off at the pass. He still can't accept that he wouldn't have been able to fix it, somehow.]

Edited 2016-08-11 19:58 (UTC)

[There's a loud scoff, completely dismissive of 76's optimism. Witness protection? That's hilarious. Who's going to put an ounce of care into protecting an ex gang member like him? If the UN was smart they'd cut any strings they can, starting with someone like him. For things to get so bad that McCree felt the safest way to be was to completely isolate himself from everyone he knew--even the only good family he's ever fallen into--was only a testament to how utterly screwed the situation was on all fronts.]

Don't kid yourself. You're just one man. Only human. Not fair you were put in the position you were.

[Kinda funny... here McCree is thinking every cynical thought he can while 76 is holding on to optimism, hope, and the idea he could have saved everyone. The pang of nostalgia that hits him is sudden and almost painful.

...it explains a lot now, when he thinks of it; why 76 is so driven the way he is.]

You're not gonna' stop even after we get to San Diego, are you?

[What's done is done. Overwatch is done. Blackwatch is done. McCree's fine to leave it be. He already knows 76 isn't fine to leave it be, not until the day he drops dead.]

[76 doesn't have the energy to be offended anymore. All he can say is that he would have tried--on top of all the trying he actually did, but they both know it wouldn't have been good enough. He's just one man, despite everything, and despite how badly he wants to shoulder it all, if only to spare everyone else, he knows better. He's learned it in the worst way possible.

McCree doesn't get a real response. 76 fixes his gaze on the train--their window will come soon enough, and he can finally extricate himself from all these uncomfortable truths.]

Someone's got to figure out what happened. Might as well be me.

[Dead to the world, he's in the perfect position to do so. Winston is too busy trying to restart Overwatch to even bother to understand what happened in the first place. Maybe 76 can reveal that truth before the recall agents walk the same unfortunate road that he did. Sheer idealism can only get you so far.

Especially with the kind of enemies he has.]

He's not dead. You know that, right?

Edited 2016-08-12 22:48 (UTC)

[After McCree asks his question and before 76 answers he already feels the need for a cigar. Maybe it's an excuse to fill the silence as he finds he has nothing to say anyway. He could argue 'til the cows come home about how it doesn't have to be his fight but that's be as futile as thinking Overwatch was going to be able to keep saving the world from itself when it had its own demons to contend with.

The next comment out of 76's mouth also doesn't get an answer. At least not an immediate one beyond a grunted 'huh'. Like he just heard some trivial factoid everyone else in the world knew but him or something. He drags on his cigar and lets the implications sink in through a haze of fresh tobacco.]

...You're not actually dead so that makes all the sense in the world. [He rasps, remarkably calm about hearing such a big piece of information. He hasn't quite figured out how he's supposed to feel thinking Gabe isn't six feet under where he probably belongs. He'd rather it be as simple as that.]

Like ying and yang, you two.

[Sounds like something Genji would probably say, he thinks.]

[He snorts a little, more of a scoff than anything. 76 doesn’t like to think about how close he was with Reyes—how well they complimented (even completed) each other. That was a different time, and they were different people in many, many ways. Now they’re separated by years of hurt and betrayal and there’s no going back from Switzerland.]

Whatever happened to him, he ain’t right.

[The footage from the museum proves that much. He doesn’t want to discount the possibility that Gabriel is playing Talon by letting them think he’s under their control, but he can draw too many connections between the terrorist organization and Blackwatch. Too close for comfort, to say nothing of the way he can literally dissolve. He wonders how much of Gabriel is still human. What was done to him, or maybe, what he did to himself.]

You’ve heard of the Reaper? [76 doesn’t think it would be out of the question for McCree to be on the up and up when it comes to mercenary gossip. He stares out at the train.]

That’s him.

[There's a long heavy silence that follows. McCree chews on cigar, grinds the sharp of his molar into the foot of it and tries to suck the bitter taste out. It's a physical thing, he can swallow it down easy enough, unlike the myriad of thoughts that flash across his head all at once.

He's heard rumors through mercenary grapevines. He's seen the museum footage. He didn't thing Gabe would be put down so easily either. He's sure he'd recognize his old mentor if he had the great displeasure of meeting said mentor's new form in person. McCree just didn't think (or hope) that would be the result of Swiss HQ. It produced Soldier 76, so surprise isn't something the cowboy is feeling... but...]

Both of you don't take kindly to the grave, do you.

[For better or worse.]

[Yeah. 76 can tell he's given McCree plenty to chew on. He'd perhaps regret it if he didn't think this was something he deserved to know, especially if he hadn't figured it out already. In later years, Jesse was arguably much closer to Gabriel than Jack was, and though 76 doesn't know the full extent of their relationship, he knows this is probably a lot to absorb.

Which means he's going to duck out while he can. It's about time to sneak aboard the train anyway, he thinks.]

I should go.

[He hefts his bag over his shoulder, turns and starts to head towards the train.]

It was good to see you, Jesse.

[That might not be true, but it feels like something he should say, because they probably won't ever run into each other again.]

Edited 2016-08-27 16:32 (UTC)

[It's a lot to absorb but it seems McCree is good at tucking it nice and neat to another corner of his mind until he's properly alone with him, his thoughts, and maybe a bottle or two for good company.

It's about time to sneak aboard the train anyway as heat vents from the front of the train and gears shift and warm up for take-off. Were this a proper steam train (as if any of those even existed anymore) it'd be toot-tooting it's final call.]

Yeah.

[That's all he says, suddenly short of words. He fully intends to see 76 through his journey until his amends were met and 76 has his eyes working normally again, but 76 seems more than eager to part ways here. McCree opens his mouth to protest but thinks better of it. Might be better if he finds his own way to San Diego. It was hard enough going through that beach town. They made a good team when they worked together but there were plenty of reasons the two of them also worked very well alone.

McCree reaches into his pants pocket to pull out his lighter and then fishes out one of his last cigars. He tosses both 76's way, a little parting gift for such a long train ride. Then he tips his hat and smiles. It's forced, aware this could be the last time they see each other ever again, but he's not so easily convinced that will be the case.]

Take care of yourself, Jack.

[They both have unfinished business.]

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LET'S HIT THE ROAD I WAS SO CLOSE TO PERSONAL GROWTH

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